Vices
by runespoor magic
Summary: Muggle AU. There's another brief pause and then, "They've drawn you wrong on the police sketch." Sirius stares at him and Remus adds, "Not that I've been paying attention or anything." In which Sirius is a serial killer, Remus is his unintentional accomplice, and Regulus is only there for moral support. Wolfstar. RL/SB, RB/BC, JP/LE
The first time Remus sees the police sketch of Sirius Black on the news, a rueful smile cracks his face. The nose is too long, too straight, the cheeks too round. And Remus knows, better than anyone, that Sirius's hair isn't that straight, because he used to day dream about running his fingers through it. His mouth is wrong too, thin lips twisted into a cruel smirk instead of curling up gently, and Remus, standing alone in his bedroom, turns a dusty pink, because he used to think about kissing the smile off of those lips too.

He doesn't know if he's blushing because he's aroused by the thought, or embarrassed, or ashamed, because even though Sirius is a serial killer, he's also really attractive, and anyways, Remus knew him before all that, so he thinks it might be okay, how he feels.

Sirius has been on the news a lot in the past year, occasionally in connection with his psycho cousin Bellatrix, and her husband and brother-in-law. But as far as Remus knows, the three of them are locked up, and he wonders what Sirius is going to do now.

Before Remus switches off the T.V., he goes through the house and double checks that all of the windows are locked, twice. Then he goes back around and starts flipping off the lights, before finally pulling on his jacket, which he buttons from the bottom up.

Like always, he parks a block away from the greasy gas station where he works. He walks, right foot and then left, and then right again, always exactly the same. It's still dark out and it's raining and every dip in the ground is a pool of water that he has to side step carefully, even though its making him late.

When Remus finally gets there, it's 6:04, but that's about average for a rainy day and so he tries not to think about it. He flips on every light switch one by one with his usual precision, and when he looks up, Sirius Black is standing there with a pop tart half way to his mouth and a startled look on his face.

"I thought this place didn't open until seven," he says, almost accusingly.

And Remus smiles before he can stop himself because he'd forgotten how much Sirius likes to talk. "Six," Remus answers immediately, his hand still on the light.

Sirius's brow furrows. "Then you're late," he says, and the smile drops from Remus's face just like that.

"It's raining."

There's a slight pause and then Sirius shifts slightly, and Remus remembers that he's a serial killer. He flinches and steps back.

Sirius blinks at him, and then stuffs the rest of the pop tart into his mouth. "Easy," he says, still chewing. He holds up his now empty hands. "I'm not going to hurt you." Despite his mouthful, he sounds scornful.

Remus isn't exactly sure if he believes him or not, but he thinks it's best to just humor him, so he nods once.

There's another brief pause and then, "They've drawn you wrong on the police sketch."

Sirius stares at him and Remus adds, "Not that I've been paying attention or anything."

For a moment he thinks that the man is going to snap. Instead, Sirius smiles at him, and his mouth is curling up softly exactly like Remus remembers. "Did you want to get breakfast?"

Remus blinks. "I have to work."

"You work here?" Sirius asks, and he sounds astonished. He shakes his head in disbelief. "I always thought you'd go places. You were the smartest in our class."

Remus blinks again, because he hadn't realized that Sirius knew who he was. "I'm gay," he says.

"So?"

"So there aren't many parents who want me teaching their children." And really, it's like Remus's mouth is moving on its own.

"That's ridiculous," Sirius declares, as though he actually means it, and then he sweeps forwards. For a terrifying second, Remus thinks Sirius's arm is going to settle around his shoulders, but he merely shoves the door open and gestures Remus outside.

Remus looks out the door. Then he looks over at Sirius. "I'm working," he says.

"Have you clocked in?"

Remus glances over at the clock and scowls. He always clocks in at exactly 6:05 every day, but its 6:08 and he hasn't even finished turning on the lights.

Sirius smiles at him, and it's a careful smile, as though Remus is the dangerous one who has to be humored and appeased. "Look," he says. "I've already thrown off your entire schedule by being here, and no doubt it's going to affect the rest of your day. There's no salvaging it, so you may as well get breakfast with me now."

Remus hesitates, mouth open slightly, and it's enough of a pause for Sirius to put his hand on Remus's back and direct him out the door.

Sirius moves slow enough that Remus can still walk exactly as he likes, right left right, and even pauses for Remus to step around the puddles. He seems a little bemused, and he laughs outright when Remus tries to open the passenger door carefully with his sleeve. He jostles Remus out of the way and yanks it open himself.

"I've got it," he says, grinning.

When they pull up at the McDonalds five minutes away from the gas station, Sirius yanks a slouchy black hat over his head, but that's as far as he goes to disguise himself. He opens the car door for Remus, too, all too amused over Remus's look of embarrassment.

Remus stiffens slightly when they reach the doors, but moving right left, heel to toe, he manages to avoid the cracks on the floor. He feels Sirius's hand curl around the crook of his arm.

"I forgot you were like this," Sirius says, close enough that his chin brushes Remus's shoulder.

"You actually remember – "

"Of course." Sirius gives him an unreadable look. "Is that so unbelievable?"

He doesn't wait for Remus to answer, just steps up to the counter, leaving Remus standing a little helplessly with his arms plastered to his sides. He rattles off Remus's usual order with a practiced ease and panic tightens Remus's chest.

"Try breathing slowly through your nose," Sirius says, when he rejoins Remus, and the other man looks at him sharply.

Sirius shrugs. "I know panic when I see it. Don't worry," he says, barking a laugh. "I haven't been stalking you." Here he grins. "But if you somehow managed to keep the same order for the four years we were in high school, then I doubt you've changed in the five we've been out."

Remus tries to relax, but finds he can't, and Sirius sweeps up their tray and tugs him along to a corner in the back.

"You're really nice," Remus says a little helplessly, and Sirius looks up, eyes flashing.

"What, you think just because I'm a criminal that I don't have human decency?" he snaps.

"No, I know," Remus says quickly, and really this entire situation is out of hand. "I just meant, you were a bully in high school."

Sirius frowns and leans forward. "No, I –"

"You used to call me Loopy Lupin," Remus interrupts, picking at his greasy sandwich. "You and Potter." He can't quite meet Sirius's eyes, and he knows he's turning pink.

"You remember that?" Sirius is incredulous and Remus turns even redder.

"I – _yes_ ," he says. "You did leave quite an impression."

Before Sirius can reply, the woman at the table across from them lets out a shriek. Bewildered, Sirius looks around, only to see the police sketch flashing on the television above them. He swallows the rest of his coffee in one gulp.

"Do you think we should go?" Sirius asks, leaning back unconcernedly and looking at Remus.

Remus's mouth is dry. "We?"

"Sure," Sirius says with a lazy grin. "I thought we already agreed that your day was unsalvageable. Imagine what it will be like now."

With a sinking feeling, Remus realizes that he's exactly right.


End file.
